Needing help from people in long term relationships/marriages
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My husband and I just celebrated 11 years of being together and 2 years together married will be celebrated this coming August. We have gone through really bad rough patches and honestly neither of us have given up. Even when the arguments have been really bad we've always come together and said to eachother were not leaving one another we love eachother too much we have so much invested in our marriage to let it go down now, we're in it in the long run to grow old celebrate our future great great grandchildren and pass on together. It takes alot of time and patience but we do ask ourselves is whatever the subject of our disagreement worth it enough to warrant "xyz?" We do keep our boundaries updated and established throughout our years too. So we don't have that whole "what if they die the next day did it really matter?" Because we did recognize big red flags in our marriage and relationship.
Honestly. The only reason I stayed with my husband was because I finally got pregnant. I prayed to my ancestors to give me a sign that I should keep holding on and then I got pregnant.
But he's been testing me recently... Lol
if you guys love each other enough and are willing to fight and not give up you guys can and will get through it! it takes a lot of open communication and time to gain back the trust! you both need to forgive to move forward! and you can’t bring up the past in current disagreements or arguments that’s the only way to keep moving forward! time heals all wounds!
Me and my partner have had many arguments over the past 18 months, to the point I point blank told him I don’t want to be with him anymore and vice versa. But luckily he still has his flat, so he went there for a few days, so both of us have space to actually process it, and end up having a decent conversation to what is wrong with both of us and how we could make it better and what needs to change. I think when kids come into the mix and lives ups and down it gets over baring to the point it affects the relationship so taking a break away from each other does help to reset it.
I almost ended it with my husband when we were engaged, basically I found out he had been lying to me for 3 months and completely betrayed my trust and made me feel stupid. I was so hurt I almost ended it, he really turned himself around and stopped doing what he was doing. (It wasn’t cheating or anything like that) I gave him another chance and told him if he ever lies to me again I would leave him. That was 4/5 years ago now and we are happily married
I think it depends I've been married for almost a year and we rushed into marriage fast asf but we both talked about what we wanted and some days I'm left wondering if I should have made the choices I did but I have my son bc of it and we are still learning little things about each other and understanding and growing he is still learning my boundaries and I'm learning his triggers my goal is to make it to that golden anniversary 50 years of marriage I think it will be beautiful we both want this to work so giving it my all is all I can do people have done it before and in the newer generations can do it again
Thank you all for sharing it's honestly given me a slight glimmer of hope! We have our first therapy session next week so fingers crossed! Depending on how it goes I might be back for more advice🙈
My husband and I had an argument and ongoing disagreement for the better part of a year. He was having a hard time seeing my side. I was patient with him and explained it to him several times in different ways. I literally drew him a picture so he would get it. I stuck it out but I did hit a point where I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I outlined what I wanted in a marriage and let him know that if we don’t want the same thing in a partner then unfortunately I would have to leave the marriage. I am willing to do and give everything I ask for and more if he were to ask. He did not want me to end the marriage so we agreed on what we wanted in each other moving forward and what our marriage should look like. We forgave the past and let it go (meaning we don’t bring it up anymore). We’ve never been happier and we are stronger because we know what each of us wants and needs in our marriage.