Why won’t he sleep with me?

So me and my partner have been together for 3/4years now, we got engaged a year ago and we have a 6mo. For a year and a half we have had issues with being intimate! I’ve constantly brought it up, as it’s always the basis of the majority of our arguments. I’ve tried communicating with him, tried to “get the spark” back, tried to initiate myself and nothing is working! We recently went on a break for a month and a half where I took my ring off. He still lived with me and our son, but it was more like co-parenting than anything else. One of the main things that got us to that point is because he just will not have sex with me. Now I know sex isn’t everything, but we were going like 2/3 months without anything at all. We struggled to conceive our son because he just wasn’t consistent sexually, despite constantly saying he really wanted a baby. When we got pregnant we were finally in a good place, having sex at least once a week. But I found out I had an infection so we couldn’t have sex towards the end of the pregnancy. Then I had a c-section so really was not feeling up for sex for at least the first 7 weeks after having our son. Throughout those 7 weeks he was complete different, constantly complaining saying “when can we have sex” and “I can’t wait for us to be able to have sex again”… but, since then it’s literally died a death again. He is constantly making loads of sexual comments and jokes about me and wanting to have sex with me. But, he never follows through. I’m so completely done with this! I feel so unwanted and unsexy! I feel like I’m not a priority because he chooses his hobbies constantly over spending time with me and will drop plans we have together for his hobbies! What the hell am I supposed to do? I love this man, but I just do not feel wanted by him despite him saying “of course I want you” and “of course I love you” and “of course I want to have sex with you and find you sexy”. 🤷‍♀️

Show your support

As someone who went through this same exact situation, it can be a possibility he’s probably losing interest in you or talking to someone else behind your back.. try dressing in some sexy lingerie, do your hair & make up, try to bring that spark back. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know you love him, but how much more you think you’re gonna keep putting up with this when the next person can give you everything he isn’t .. best of luck 🍀 ✨ it’s going to be okay. Talk it out & put that lingerie on to spice things up 😊

@Stacey I don’t feel sexy in myself anymore, I feel desperate when I’m saying to him “please will you just have sex with me”… but, I’ve tried to bring the spark back, I’ve bought sexy underwear, I’ve let him come in the shower with me, I’ve even just tried to put it on him and initiate myself… but, honestly I gave up trying to initiate because he’s just knocked me back that much I honestly feel so self conscious trying I really can’t see him having someone on the side, it would REALLY surprise me if he did as he is very open and honest, let’s me on his phone, checks in when he’s out and about… but I guess you never really do know, idk 🤷‍♀️

Sounds like low testosterone levels. Ask him to get his levels checked. ✔️

@Lauralea I didn’t even think of that, tbf we did have a huge conversation about it where he said he doesn’t even masterbate either so he’s literally just not doing anything, so I’ll speak to him about this!

We didn’t go months, but this happened for a little bit with my husband (he didn’t masturbate at the time either) and tbh it’s not always cheating or some medical issue. Sometimes it’s just other shit is going on in their life/head. For instance, my husband was severely stressed out and depressed. When I feel that way, even if I make sexual jokes, I don’t necessarily want to have sex when I’m not feeling my best either. Have you tried talking to him about if something else is bothering him or is there something he’s stressed about? Also when me and my husband first started dating we’d have less sex when we fought a lot. So if you’re noticing y’all kinda bickering more, that could be a contributing factor as well.

My ex was like this and it was So frustrating.. Some men just don't have the drive or want to do it that much even with counselling/excercises/diet change/etc. That's just how they are and you can either live with them like it or leave and be with a man who can't get enough of you sexially and fills in the gaps where he doesn't. It's not everything but if it's important to you then it is important! Best of luck x

@Mary Alice he just constantly says “I’m too tired” but whenever he has time off work or time where he could spend it with me, he goes out to the gym for hours or goes out running for hours. Everyone says to me “could be worse, he could be out getting drunk” but surely they’re both as bad, especially when he’s choosing to spend 2 hours away from us at the gym after a 12 hour shift at work… but if I ask to do something with him after his 12 hour shift at work he’s “too tired” 🤷‍♀️ I just feel like I’m not a priority and our relationship isn’t a priority to him

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌