Help me not sound like an asshole lol

It’s normal for toddlers to be screaming you will understand when your kid gets older at firts I was thinking like you when I first got my baby but with time you see it change and loud noises does not wake up a newborn babies , they can sleep pretty trough everything… you live in a apartment it’s normal to have noises when they are family around because of the kids when they are having tantrums ect maybe the people go talk outside because it’s a important call and the kids are making too much noises … maybe it will be better for you to live in a place where you are living along . It’s normal for young kids to have tantrums and sometimes even when you try to calm them down they is nothing you can do and you have to wait until they are done they are little humans who don’t know how to regulate their emotions and are in a learning stage you know better cause your are a adult fully developed but their are not and you have to be understanding them or else you would have a difficult time

@Valérie i understand kids have tantrums, but i don’t understand why would you hold a screaming baby to pace outside of my balcony door back and forth, instead of take him for a walk? Or take him to our neighborhood pond, not directly in front of my porch door. I just think I’m considerate of others and some people don’t have that trait

@Tatiana you don’t seem considerate of others and sometimes when your kid is having a tantrum you can not take him on a walk or outside more far people have life and when your baby will be crying during the night it will bother them too it’s call living a community

Walking outside of my house is the only way I can get my son to calm down a lot of the time. I feel bad when I notice the neighbours have their window open but they have a child who I’ve heard many tantrums from so I know they get it. I doubt your neighbours are intentionally being loud outside your balcony but maybe putting a sign in your window saying sleeping baby would help? You’d be surprised what a baby can sleep through but I suggest a good quality sound machine regardless.

This is why we had to move. Not only did we also share a duplex with a dad and his 5 year old, but our neighbor would be up all night driving behind our bedroom window with bass blaring allllll night. Talking to them calmly never worked, nothing ever worked until we just moved. When kids are involved, it’s reallllly hard to navigate because you can’t control everything your kids do and going outside may be their way of trying not to be loud in the house and bothering you more. I wasn’t sleeping from loud neighbors and my son was a poor sleeper so I was always angry, but I know my neighbor probably heard my son crying in the middle of the night a few times too. The worst thing he ever did was let his kid run up and down the hallway and jump off of furniture until 9-10pm. Our duplex was old and the floors were super thin so it would shake our entire side of the house and keep my son up. I knocked on the wall a few times to make it stop but I also knew he was just being a kid.

@Valérie i think if i have a child throwing a tantrum, i wouldn’t pace in front of someone else’s balcony door. That’s just common sense to me. Thanks though!

Apartment living as a new parent is so hard unless you have perfect neighbors, which is why I said we had to move. We just couldn’t handle it all anymore. Oh and we also had a couple across from my son’s window who were alcoholics and got into loud fights every week late at night 🤦🏼‍♀️ idk how we survived, I hope it gets better for you! Maybe you guys will find a solution ❤️

@Katelynn yeah that’s what i was thinking, of putting a sign of like sleeping baby but i don’t want to attract any like predators either, and thought of maybe talking to them. I definitely understand the point where kids or babies need a fresh breath of air but my balcony is like 4 feet away from the sidewalk that wraps around a pond and i think that would be better instead of pacing in front of my balcony door. I think it’s the fact that it’s like 4 different families all living in the one apartment, and they leave trash outside the balcony doors, bottles in the gutter, trash around the pathway and on top of that have hella kids who just scream and run around back n forth throughout all times of the day. I don’t care too much now, but like i said if my baby consistently is like waking up to them being obnoxiously loud in front of my balcony (mind you they have their own balcony too) it’s just annoying.

@Kate thank you! I’m like when i was single or just had my dog and i, I’ve always had super respectful neighbors and quiet/clean, but now that it matters the most I’m like this is unfortunate 😬 but i hope once they see me coming in and out w the baby, they try to control the volume a bit. They also leave their door cracked and play music or hear screaming children and adults and it’s just like 🫠🫠

@Kate i agree, kids will be kids, but i think if my child was screaming outside my neighbors screen door, i would be like hey love let’s try not to scream so we don’t scare our neighbors or something like that — i think it’s just frustrating to me bc im like i know that many people can’t live in an apartment like that but that’s none of my business. If they blast music past a certain time at night and aren’t considerate of me, I’ll probably call cops for noise ordinance. I’ve always been respectful of neighbors, i don’t leave trash outside their doors so i think it’s just like little things adding up

Yea that's awful..I'd be tempted to do an anonymous call..

There’s always going to be some noises when you live in close quarters with neighbors but when you have neighbors that are inconsiderate and refuse be socially responsible, I’m a firm believer in emailing the proper authorities and calling the cops anonymously for disturbances… judge accordingly and use wisdom because you still have to live close to them and deal with them to an extent.

@Courtney thank you. I think i might write them a nice letter or something and if they don’t listen then I’ll probably exactly do that

I have beef with my neighbours because they don’t watch their kids. It took my landlord to write all of them letters to watch them. Now they do, but they’re spreading malice. I feel you 100%, and I don’t believe you’re being inconsiderate of others. Our neighbours kept saying “kids will be kids” but they were literally hitting our car lol. It’s one of those, I’d consider looking elsewhere if it’s going to be a problem for you 100%.

Honestly, once you have your child, you will understand much more what it takes to care for a baby sometimes the only thing that works is going outside. Don’t shame these people for trying their best and don’t expect the worst when your child is born your hormones will go down , and you won’t feel so annoyed by all the noise if it gets worse instead of getting them evicted or in trouble for their children, maybe asked to switch apartment in your complex. Just try to be open and flexible with the family that is above you and try to be optimistic in this situation. Try to put yourself in their shoes if you had 3 to 4 children living in your house and trying to control the entire house it is hard sometimes and every day is different. I am sure every day it is not that chaotic, but try not to be a problematic neighbor by reporting every noise you hear it Hass to be a nuisance to your neighbor and also it can be a nuisance to yourself but that’s what comes with living in a apt

Also, we have to learn to not be so quick to judge and sometimes we have to learn when something is urgent and when something is just personal and yes, I understand you don’t want your newborn to be around all that noise but what if your child is the one that is going to make up all the noise once he or her is here, I think you’d want them to understand that you are doing your best to care for your child rather than reporting every time they hear your screaming baby and babies adapt to environments so the children most likely won’t be the reason your child doesn’t sleep it will most likely adapt to the environment it is in but I wish you the best and I hope things do get better and they try to keep the noise down, but it is best to try and talk to your neighbors first and most importantly try to understand.

@Georgia yeah i never said anything about evicting them or trying to even do that.. it was just more so if they aren’t considerate i will not be super nice. I understand that children will be noisy obviously and they don’t live above me, but almost diagonal. And it’s been a. Messy issue, and a noise issue, i see like six different adults in that one bed room and like kids of all sizes and ages. I don’t have to adapt to other people not respecting a common area as well.

I guess i am just an asshole bc some of yall like yea you just need to understand it is what it is, but like no? There shouldn’t be like 8+ people living in an apt of that size but if you are the least you can do is keep common areas clean and be considerate of your neighbors. Literally one time my blinds were open and there were two guys pulling out their penises to pee close to the fence. It’s just unacceptable

@Tatiana yeah I understand but when you report someone and report things that definitely aren’t in their control like their children crying or yelling out loudly that can get someone evicted even though you may not want that for them. Also, you are coming on here saying how many people live in the unit and things like that that is really being inconsiderate. You don’t know their situation and it is none of your business at the end of the day how many people live in their apartment I am just trying to let you know don’t be that kind of person and then you say they live diagonally from you, that is even worse because it seems that you are the problem. They don’t even live above you and you are reporting them and they are diagonal from you. If it gets worse, you should request moving units. Also, you should be more optimistic when it comes to the situation and in the future, try not to move somewhere that is not the best for you and your child.I truly hope it gets better for you.

Aww bit of a mixed bag of comments there… at the end of the day if you feel they are being unnecessarily disruptive then do something like stick a poster in the window (baby sleeping!) or write a little note to neighbours saying little one has arrived, we will try to keep it down and hope everyone can be quiet around your balcony. I don’t think there’s much more that could be done because you live in an apartment and neighbour noise is inevitable 🤦🏻‍♀️ x

@Georgia yeah i said it’s not my business how many people live there but if it’s going to be hella people, and families, the least they can do is not try to soothe their kids in front of my balcony door & maybe stay in front of their balcony doors, and if they hear their kids screaming from the parking lot to try to get their moms attention remind them they don’t live on acres of land and they have neighbors. They live diagonally from me meaning across, like three feet away, how am i the problem? That made no sense. You think if I’m having issues with neighbors not respecting common areas + being loud i should be the one to request to move instead of just telling the leasing manager or them directly? Thanks for your input though

@Mol yeah I’ve tolerated it for three months bc I’m like whatever it’s just me and i can always go back to sleep, but I’m like idk if I’ll say the same when them momma hormones come in. I’ll probably leave a note by their door explaining & stuff and hopefully they are receptive to that and we can just keep things mutually w respect

I think the only way that would come across not rude in an instance where their children are having a tantrum would be to go out and start a polite conversation— ask if everything is okay and then just slide in that you’re trying to get your newborn to sleep and you are exhausted. And just try to make friends with them so that they care to make your life more comfortable… that’s my best advice haha

@Tatiana honestly, it sounds to me that you live in a ghetto or an apartment complex that is just not that great and you are complaining because they are in front of your balcony you don’t own that place and also you need to remember that they can walk anywhere with their child to calm their child down and they don’t have to be this parent that gives their kid cues and says don’t scream from across the parking lot. They are actually easy-going in allowing their kids to express themselves in a way you probably won’t allow yours to and they don’t have to hush to be considerate of you. Your child hasn’t even came into the world yet and you are like a nightmare neighbor from hell and it seems you probably just move there and you are just irritated at the fact that you are in that type of complex and honestly the best thing for you to do is to request to move or get out of that lease because it seems that it is only going to get worse from you with all these request.

@Lydia yea that sounds like a good idea, i might even have my mom talk to them bc they speak Spanish and I’m already monotone and i can only translate literally from English to Spanish but don’t know how to sweet talk & most people close to me say I sound monotone and can’t read me bc i don’t have much facial expressions but my mom is super bubbly so i might just have her do it just so i don’t come across as an ass

@Georgia it’s actually not a ghetto apartment at all, so that’s a weird assumption. Also i moved here first then the family, then like others started moving in and yeah are disruptive. I’m not asking for them to spank their child but if you have a child that’s screaming at night in a common area, i think you should remind your child that people live around. Even if you owned a home, in a neighborhood and every time your kid was crying you walked in front of one house and stayed put there.. anybody would be annoyed if it was repeated behavior. And if children were screaming at any time of the day, you don’t beat the shit out of your kid for that but you do explain, like hey people are also around so around these times let’s not scream for mom when I’m inside and you’re outside!

@Georgia I’m a nightmare from hell bc i expect for everyone to be considerate of one another the same way i am to others? Yeah you’re right. If my baby was crying at 2am and i went and stood outside their door bc i wanted to and it was comfortable for me,.. would they not also be like yo we understand babies cry but like don’t stay outside our door. Thanks for your input but we just dont have the same outlook so thanks bye

@Tatiana yeah you are you are picking on every aspect of them and their children and at the least how many people live with them no one can respect someone that just hates everything. You literally hate everything and you are taking it personal instead of being mature about the situation, you probably haven’t even tried to talk to them so work on that and try not to bring people’s kids in the situation. You will understand when your baby is crying and you are doing everything to calm your baby down and personally when you move into an apartment complex, you have to be optimistic and understand that everything is not peaches and cream. It seems this may have been here first apartment complex that you have been in and that is not my business but just in the future try to move somewhere that seems more fit for you and your child but I hope you have a nice day and like I said, I hope it gets better for you all around. I can’t understand or even relate to someone that is mad about one time

But you are basing this experience off one time if they go in front of your balcony every time that would be different, but it was one time and if their child is screaming out every day that is different you just don’t like your neighbors and it’s just plain and simple, but I’m gonna leave this comment alone. Have a great day.

@Georgia yeah you obv didn’t read other comments bc i have lived in other complexes and it’s literally in the contract to keep common areas cleaned and there’s noise ordinances for a reason. I hate everything? You sound like not my cup of tea bc you’re just pulllint stuff out your bum but thanks :) hope you never have neighbors that have kids screaming out your front door and someone tell you the solution is for you to move LOL

@Tatiana i’ve probably lived in more apartments than you, and dealt with way more circumstances and I didn’t nearly have that much input about my neighbors you know what I did I remove myself and I went to a better place that better suit me so I suggest that for you some apartment complex have rules and you will find that nobody follows them because it is not a great area. You seem like you should move to a better area you will be more happy but that is just my personal opinion. I have dealt with noisy neighbors, dealt with crazy people coming and smoking cigarettes near my house in front of my door, and I remove myself from that apartment, it was out of my control at that point when things are out of your control you need to move yourself to a better environment an adult about it in life things are not perfect

@Georgia girl, READ if you’re going to comment on my shit. I’ve listed multiple times how they’ve been outside my door balcony - please just stop commenting if you’re just going to comment without any knowledge of reading the backstory

@Georgia you telling me where i pay rent, and where i chose to live, i should choose to move instead of report neighbors who aren’t following a communal contract?? Yeah that makes sense. Great advice thx

@Tatiana I just want you to grow up and be more mature about your situation in your environment and learn to not put yourself in recurrent situations that you are unhappy with in life we have to grow. We can’t continue to backpedal and do the same thing over and over next time move to a better apartment complex that actually follows the rules and that is best fit for you , I am sorry you wanted me to be on your side about the situation, but I have experienced things like this if not worse and I remove myself instead of complaining, you have all the power in your hands. Have a good day.

@Georgia i don’t want you to be on my side, it would just be awesome if you would make sense. “Move to a better apartment complex that follows the rules” yeah should i ask when i view apartments do all residents follow the rules? Bc obviously when i moved there everything was clean and quiet like i said in my comments before. I moved in first, then they did and things started happening. tip for you, don’t comment on something without reading all the comments and back story if you actually want to make sense for your perspective

@Tatiana you both pay rent you aren’t the only neighbor paying rent so yes when things aren’t up to your liking‘s and things aren’t getting resolved, you have to move your self out of the situation you don’t stay there and just deal with it and become this irate neighbor, you move to a better apartment complex you work hard to change your life you don’t expect that everything is going to go your way when you want it how you want it because it seems to me it is not going to go your way in that apartment complex even if you report them, so I am just giving you the best advice

@Georgia no you’re telling me to live somewhere where the rules are followed, but also told me not to report them, and i should be optimistic then assumed where i lived was ghetto bc they weren’t following the rules. Like you just sound dumb tbh and stop commenting like you said you would please 🫶

@Tatiana moving to a better up scale apartment, may help you when you live with majority of the population those areas most likely don’t fall the rules those apartment people usually don’t care about your complaints and the place never gets better and since you said you lived in a lot of different places, you probably had this concern multiple times and you still haven’t changed the place where you live so in the future if it doesn’t change, you should move to an upscale apartment simple as that or move back with your mom.

But I hope you have a good day. I’m not gonna continue to give you the best advice she would ever have. You will notice that when you do make the right choices for yourself, and you do choose to move, you will be more happier rather than trying to control the environment that is never going to change And it is unfortunate that it seem like a good place and it is not but that is because it was in a good place from the jump. You should read the reviews at the next place you moved to and your next place should be a upscale apartment. Most of those places don’t have neighbors that act that way also, there is more rules and regulations in the apartment managers actually take them seriously rather than brushing them away but good luck to you.

You’re not an asshole, people need to look after their spaces. I’ve had all the situations you’ve had. You can’t stop a child crying but we could hear our neighbours next door it was just one of those things I’m sure the parents felt even worse. If they were walking outside my front door I’d probably be a little annoyed. Have you said anything to them? As for the rubbish yeah that’s disgusting, we also had a lady who used to drink outside our house and leave the cans there. My husband had a word with her and I haven’t seen her since. We now have a new problem someone’s drain is overflowing and they don’t want to sort it out but it’s summer and it’s starting to smell. My husband cleaned the whole yard just weeks ago and it’s back to the way it was. The idea about leaving the note saying baby sleeping etc sounds like a good idea. Otherwise go and introduce yourself, we made a what’s app group for the residents so we can communicate. It’s a hard one because not everyone will listen.

Also, I’m sure you have reported them several times and the managers have done nothing you probably even sent in your pictures you took in the managers have done nothing so you look very very crazy at this point move to a better spot or go back home with your mom I try to be nice until people think they are smarter. You are not smarter than me. You are absolutely out of your mind to stay in a place that does not care for you, but continue to pay rent and be very unhappy.

@Nilam thanks I’ll probably do the note and even the tip about becoming more friendly and just explaining how the baby is sleeping maybe at that moment, or even a little sign outside my balcony that has a little nice note too that hopefully they’ll be receptive too 🫠

@Georgia bro leave me alone 😂 i never said i was smarter than you,, im just saying your points sound illogical to me so it’s best not to keep going on it. And again, I’ve not reported them several times!! It’s very not productive to try to give advice and assume where i live is “ghetto” and assume other things bc you just look like an ass

@Tatiana it’s not assuming it’s taking all you said in consideration, and coming up with a resolution the place is ghetto at the end of the day it is ghetto they do not care about your well-being. They do not care about how it looks. They do not care about how many people live in apartment complex. They do not care about people leaving trash out in front of their door, and they sure don’t care about you reporting them for noise complaint for the children. If you don’t think that’s ghetto you got a lot of growing up to do.

@Tatiana You have to grow up and make the better decision for you and your child. You can stay in a place that doesn’t benefit you or your child or you can move that is up to your discretion but if I was in a situation like I was before I would move. I’m just giving you brutally honest advice take it how you want.

@Georgia my neighbors might be a bit ghetto or i just think not considerate but you said where i lived, as in the complex was, which is an assumption bc it’s 100% not ghetto.. bye

@Tatiana okay, stay there and watch it get worst atp you already know it’s not going to change anything. Have a good day hopefully you move into a better environment or apartment complex.

First of all Tatiana you have every right to feel how you do. I don't understand why Georgia is even coming at you, not helpful at all. I understand this because I always said "you wake then you take them" the ONLY thing I understand is maybe talk with them. Tell them your situation how you have a child on the way & your balcony is right there but also being understanding of them having children of their own. It's tough around those ages when they are dealing with their own emotions but still doesn't excuse it happening right near your balcony. If it pursues constantly honestly file a noise complaint. They aren't being considerate of your space especially with the garbage. & good for you for standing up for yourself i couldn't even read all the comments but the ignorance coming from Georgia & this is coming from someone who has a child ALREADY HERE.

@Tiaja lmao Tiaja get a life you so worried about my comments but yet your house is probably trashy as hell or you live w your parent I told her straight up she should move and that’s what I stand on I’m not going to change my character or my response to appease anyone she at the end of the day hates her neighbors and needs to move . Best advice to give and she already reported them 🙂

@TiajaNext time @ me boo so it’s directed cus it’s never respected in my book if it’s not directed.