Am I being unreasonable?

I would stand your ground and say no visitors for a while. It’s not uncommon to do that and it sounds like after last time you just need some space to be able to be you and work it out. We had grandparents here on day three but that’s because they live hours away and it was a day before Christmas. They didn’t stay long, few hours max and then didn’t see her again for a while. At the end of the day your feelings and sanity should come first over his parents, you are the one birthing the baby and feeling all the postpartum crap that comes with it. I completely agree with just staying in your own bubble for a while, it’s called the fourth trimester for a reason and it’s so important for the mum to be looked after. You absolutely can stop people from coming.

You’re well within your rights to want your own space to adjust etc. We’ve said similar, my first was an emergency c section and I was home the next day so didn’t have time to recover or even process what happened and everyone piled round all at the same time and it was too much so we’ve said this time that parents can visit straight away once we’re home but no one else for a week or so and we’ll be keeping visits to a minimum for a bit for the sake of my toddler and us adjusting as a family of 4. I get his point of people being excited and wanting to come round and wanting to keep peace, that’s kinda why we’re letting parents round so early but he’s got to also thing of you and how you’ll be feeling etc. Stand your ground

You’re not being unreasonable. You can also say to people that in the first 2 weeks you only want visitors that help out/ bring food/ clean, etc. we had both sets of grandparents for 2 weeks each, but they prepared all meals, did the cleaning and washing and basically looked after us so we could settle in. They also supported me breastfeeding, brought drinks and snacks. Of course they also got lots of baby cuddles. They sometimes took him for an hour or so and I could sleep. There was generally only 2 visitors at a time really and because they stayed for a while it was quite calm. I think say what would help you/ how they can support you. If they just want to visit and be served food/ coffee then they’ll have to wait til you’re well enough to do that I’d say. It’s a lot to adjust to a new baby and to heal after birth. And you’re the one who has the scars/ needs the rest, so say what you need.

I had an emergency c section with my first and left hospital the next day. I was greeted home by stepson (5 at the time and very jealous) mother in law and brother in law. It was too much for me. Stepson ended up making himself sick all night because he was jealous, I was in pain and just wanted a shower and to relax with my newborn and husband but couldn’t as he was cleaning up after stepson all night. This time around I’ve stated to all the family that for 7 days no one is to visit and this is time for myself, my husband and our 3 year old to settle with the new baby x

I FULLY AGREE! You could give your friends/family “visiting hours” so instead of people coming at random times they can all come at once … and bring food 🤣

100000% agree with you. We are so vulnerable postpartum and need time to heal and bond with our babies. We had the same with our first and I just accepted it, but most of the people who visited haven’t been back since so my partner and I have decided to take some private time this time round (apart from grandparents but even they will wait a couple of days!!) xx

Tell people now, maybe send a blanket message to everyone that might conceivably want to visit and tell them you won't be accepting visitors for the first week AFTER you come home (who knows how long you'll be in hospital). Following that time, guests need to arrange a time rather than turning up. We didn't have this problem first time round, grandparents visited the first couple of days for 1-2 hours but we only had anyone else sporadically and nobody out stayed there welcome or tried to hog our son. I don't know exactly when in 2021 your child was born but my son was born April, just as lockdown ended so people were pretty careful about visiting and because we mostly sat outside guests didn't stay too long. Good luck this time round

Thank you everyone 🥹 I appreciate the support. I was made to feel like I was going mad the first time around even though I was being reasonable. I’ll try my hardest this time 🤞🏻

I know people who have done this and said it was hard convincing people but there so glad they did as it's such precious time. In your situation I'd say even more so, you don't want any extra worries leading up to the birth.

You are being totally reasonable. You absolutely can stop people from coming. You know what’s best for you and your baby. I’ve said no visitors at all for at least 2 weeks. People aren’t happy but that’s not my problem. My health and my baby are the most important thing and no one will change my mind. Stick to your boundaries x

Honestly if he insists on having people over tell him he can host. You and baby will be upstairs in bed and will not be having people in your bedroom. I haven't planned what we'll be doing - but anyone who'll be a hindrance rather than a positive impact won't be welcome for a while. I'll probably play it by ear and see how the birth goes, how long we have to stay in etc. So I'll be communicating that before hand, that we'll let people know when we're ready I know one of the bigger problems will be some family/friends will be a nightmare and some I'd like to see so I will allow some sooner than others and they'll be miffed but, maybe, that should be their sign to not be a nightmare. As for people saying you've held your baby long enough 🤦🏻‍♀️ crikey people are bizarre. Babies aren't pass the parcel