How do you guys do it?
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My first marriage I was a stay at home stepmom to 3. We had full custody. Mom had no visitation. I found the book 123 magic to really work for us. https://www.amazon.com/dp/149262988X/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_W2NJBN5BJ45TFKP7NW86?linkCode=ml2&tag=wonderland083-20
For me, the thing that keeps me from getting so burnt out I have no patience is having breaks scheduled with my partner. We don't have any family nearby and he works 14 hour days 4 days a week, so we only have each other to depend on- and for four days I go without anyone to give me even a five minute break. So on my partners days off he wakes up with the babies and I sleep as long as I need. Other than that there's not much we can do for breaks since we have no support system around, but its enough to keep me from literally losing my mind😂
Girl I feel you my son is 2 and a half and he does all that screams at me throws himself on the floor doesn't listen will hit things when I tell him not to.... I think it's a age thing? My hubby says I need to be more strict with him but that doesn't help lol doesn't help I'm 33 days away from giving birth to his twin brothers ugh girl I'm tireddddd
@Olivia he’s always been this wild I think it’s just the terrible 2s thing, but when he goes to his dads he doesn’t have the structure he has at our house so I know that plays a part
@Taylor my husband doesn’t have anyone but his sister who lives with us but she’s usually at college and sometimes she works, but he helps tremendously with my son and on his days off if I need extra sleep he takes the first shift with the baby, but she’s usually on a decent schedule. Sometimes I’ll ask my mom to take the kids for a couple days if I need a breather but she lives 2-3 hrs away so it’s hard sometimes plus she stays busy. But postpartum really makes everything so much harder to handle
@melissa I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter, Idk how I would’ve handled it if it had been twins. And me and my husband are strict with my son but my sons dad isn’t that strict with him and just pawns him off on whoever he can so he doesn’t have to deal with him most of the time, so that definitely doesn’t help on our end. And if the fits weren’t so bad I probably wouldn’t be so overwhelmed but I’ve even had to put him in his car seat (we have a spare inside) and strap him down so he doesn’t throw anything or hit me cause he gets so mad, and when he’s chilled out and ready to talk we are usually good for a bit
@Taylor been there my son has his own room so tbh if I get sooooo overwhelmed by him or he's hurting me from his fits I but him in his room ( he has a camera I can watch him) normally for like 10 min to calm down and I'll normally clean or take a shower I know that helps me
@melissa That's definitely very helpful! When you know nobody is gonna be there to help at a certain time of the day it gets neverending, and it's not possible to stay calm without getting some type of peace for a minute
@melissa I would do that but he climbs the only baby gate I have so he’s like a little Houdini that’s why I use the car seat lol
It’s so hard some days, especially when ours first started acting up, which was when I started having 1st trimester fatigue & morning sickness. Changes can trigger tantrums, like new baby, weaning, not enough attention that they’re used to. What has worked: focus on staying calm, offering help (hug, pick him up, drink cold water, fresh air), taking things away if he throws them or moving him where he can’t throw things. I give warnings & repeat them often, as they can’t really hear you or be logical in the moment, so a lot of “if you kick me, I will go in the other room/sit on the other couch” & then I do it. My son used to get more upset if I left, but has now learned to stop kicking so I don’t leave. When he’s calm I’ve explained many times he needs (if he knows) to tell me what he needs in that moment, as I can’t understand him when he’s just crying & now even if he’s upset, he can say he wants a hug & then he calms down immediately. Bring stricter & saying no hasn’t helped.
What worked for me is telling my oldest that if they wake up the baby, I can't spend more time with them. I also gave the oldest special attention when the baby slept, played games, and they did chores with me too .
@Sydney when my daughter is asleep, me and my son usually snuggle on the couch or if it’s pretty good outside and let him run around, or whatever we can (one day we baked a cake)…but he’s still like acting like he doesn’t know what the word no means coming out me or my husbands mouth or throwing fits and I’m like this is just making the situation worse and doesn’t help u lil dude but he doesn’t get that lol
I don’t have 2, but I have a 7 month old & it’s so hard some days. I will literally apply to jobs because I feel so overwhelmed and like I can’t do it anymore & then magically, I change my mind & don’t schedule interviews. Hang in there. She’s 2 months old. You’re still in the thick of it. It will get easier as she becomes more independent. As far as his behavior, it could just be the change of not being an only child.